


King's Gambit, Knight's Tour

by decaf and sleep (kohiii)



Category: Vampire Knight (Anime & Manga)
Genre: Alternate Universe - Canon Divergence, Angst, Bitterness, Everyone is shitty, Fairytale Motifs, Gen, Hurt No Comfort, M/M, No one is good, Not A Happy Ending, but you really gotta squint, can be read as gen or implied slash
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2020-05-01
Updated: 2020-05-01
Packaged: 2021-03-01 18:02:16
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 2,766
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/23941258
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/kohiii/pseuds/decaf%20and%20sleep
Summary: Kaname is haunted by his guilt and his need to be forgiven. Zero is not infinitely kind.
Relationships: Cross Yuuki & Kiryuu Zero, Cross Yuuki/Kuran Kaname (implied), Kiryuu Zero & Kuran Kaname, Kiryuu Zero/Kuran Kaname (very very implied and one-sided)
Comments: 12
Kudos: 74





	King's Gambit, Knight's Tour

They had reached the end of their story. 

This was supposed to be it. The Kurans' happily-ever-after as Kaname carried Yuuki off into the sunset. Zero's long-awaited release from the shackles of Kaname's manipulations. The two royals, living their fairytale lives and leaving Zero alone to his own fate. 

He wasn't even bitter about it. 

Just tired.

He'd been played for like a fool, moved around on Kaname's invisible chess board at the pureblood's whims as he cut down obstacle after obstacle for the vampire king. He'd been masterfully puppeted, dancing around on invisible strings as he stepped in front of Yuuki again and again to take every blow that had been meant for her. 

And the worst part was, he had been their willing pawn. 

Perhaps it was born out of a twisted sense of obligation, of guilt, of _love,_ whatever that word meant. 

He would have died long ago without Yuuki's concern. 

He would have long succumbed to the madness without Kaname's blood. 

So maybe, something deep inside Zero had latched onto that. A dark, loveless, pathetic monster that starved for another person's affirmation of his existence. And he owed the two siblings that much. For entertaining the ugly thing within him that craved so desperately for some recognition of his right to live. 

(But did he even have that? The right to live?) 

The death of their mad uncle at his hands fulfilled those obligations. They'd fed him scraps and pieces, and he had been the dog that bit down the enemy that had pursued them relentlessly. 

Zero was done. 

He'd returned the life that had been given to him by Kaname's lifeblood and Yuuki's soft touches. Now he was nothing more than the discarded knight and a mindless beast, but he was a beast with his own pride. Perhaps he was just the scum of their society. Perhaps he was just an outcast that would never belong anywhere. But at least he was his own person again. 

And that was enough for him.

\--

"Go away." 

He didn't even turn to look at the regal presence that had made itself home in his living room. 

"We have to talk, Kiryuu-kun." 

Talk? What a joke. 

"There's nothing to say, Kuran." 

"Won't you at least listen to me?" 

"You?" He glanced at the familiar garnet eyes that haunted his nightmares. "Never."

\--

Kaname was persistent, just like he had been back at the Academy. 

"Kiryuu-kun, I really do believe we should have a proper conversation about things, _like the proper adults we are._ " 

"Then you can take my rejection like the so-called adult you are." 

It was slowly starting to drive him mad. The pureblood king was determined not to give up, and Zero felt like no matter where he turned he could see those damned eyes staring straight at him. 

Sleepless nights meant his dreams were starting to bleed into reality, and that was dangerous. Distractions were a costly mistake he couldn't afford, especially not when his blood ran hot with the heat of the hunt. One wrong step and he would be nothing more than a name on a slab of stone and a statistic in the history books. 

Apparently Kaname wanted to 'put the past behind them' and 'clear the air' about all their previous grievances. The pureblood had said something flowery to the effect of wanting to start this new chapter of their lives on a clean page. 

Kaname was just as deluded as Ridou if he seriously thought something like that was possible. 

For one, there was no such thing as a clean page. The pureblood had drenched the book of Zero's life in so much blood and misery that it had bled into every single page. 

And what was there to talk about? 

Did Kaname expect him to grovel for his past transgressions? Was he expected to apologize for taking the sacred blood of not one but two vampire monarchs, even when they knowingly dangled that poisonous temptation in front of his starving beast? Did Kaname want him to beg for his life, to plead for forgiveness because he had been defiant and irreverent in the past? 

Like hell he was going to do that. 

Zero didn't owe Kaname or his sister any more of himself. Once upon a time he had given every part of himself that he could offer to them. But the fairytale had ended, and they all were waking up to the aftermath of what that meant. 

"I told you. We have nothing to do with each other anymore." 

Day after day, it was the same old argument. When would Kaname just _stop_ and leave him alone? Hadn't the king taken enough from him? Just when would Kaname be satisfied? 

"Yuuki--"

"Stop. I told you there's nothing between me and her anymore. She's _yours_ now, Kuran, so leave me out of it." 

There was a moment of silence, and Zero fancied that this was the first time he actually saw a look of genuine surprise and hesitation in Kaname's eerie eyes. 

"You would abandon her just like that?" 

Zero laughed, and it was a dry and bitter sound. 

"I was the one that had been thrown aside first, but that hardly matters now, does it?" He didn't care about that, not really. Some part of him did resent the fact that Yuuki had turned out to be just another pureblood, but Zero was already aware that the years the two of them spent under Cross's care was just another dream that they had to eventually wake from. "Anyways, didn't you imply it yourself? That she would be better off with a monster like you than a monster like me." 

Kaname had never hesitated to remind him of just how beastly he was. 

He _knew._

He had been nothing more than hypocrite whenever he pointed Bloody Rose at Kaname's insufferable visage and accused the Night Class of being bloodthirsty animals. Because he, too, was one of those unforgivable beasts. Did Kaname think that reminding him of his own nature would make him any more accepting of vampires? 

No. If anything, it only drove home just how deeply he'd fallen. 

Zero had barely managed to crawl out of that pit of despair when the pureblood siblings reached down and wrenched his hands off the precarious ledge he'd been holding onto. 

"Leave. I won't ask again."

\--

"My blood runs in your veins." 

Unfazed, Zero shot a bullet through the snarling Level E's forehead and watched as it crumbled into ash. 

"Stop following me on my hunts, Kuran." 

Kaname ignored him and continued on, "How can you say that we have nothing to do with each other? Is your blood not tied to mine?"

"And I repaid you when I severed your tie to your uncle, did I not?" 

Zero's eyes were cold as stone. 

"Just like how Ridou paid the price for your freedom, Ichiru paid the price for mine." 

\--

Eventually, their relationship -- though Zero hesitated to call it that -- took a turn for the bizarre. 

At first, it was the same push and pull that they were familiar with as two strong wills clashed silently over something as mundane as having a simple conversation. But perhaps Kaname had been inching closer and closer to the edge of madness while Zero wasn't looking, because despite the pureblood's impeccable physical appearance there was a decidedly haggard look to Kaname.

As Kaname grew more desperate and Zero grew more dispassionate, the power dynamic that had once dictated the nature of their interactions began to shift. 

The king had become the beggar, and the peasant was now royalty. 

Just as Zero had once been driven almost mad by his desire for a single drop of Kaname's blood, Kaname was now seeking something from him with the same frenzy. 

"Please forgive me.

"Please.

"I realize my previous transgressions against you are an unforgivable sin.

"Nevertheless, I seek your forgiveness. 

"So please." 

The proud pureblood was practically _begging_ for forgiveness. 

Zero honestly could not understand why Kaname would bother asking for something like that now. Why did it matter whether he forgave the pureblood or not, especially after Kaname's plans had come to full fruition and he was now reaping the rewards of his past actions? Was it really that important to the point where it warped Kaname's mind and consumed his very being?

Why did Kaname have to pick now of all times to grow a conscience? 

He stared down at that beautiful face, at the pale face with its brown hair and claret eyes. The same face that still haunted his nightmares. 

"I can't." 

He'd barely spoken the two words before Kaname was crumpling in despair, a deep anguish filling those damned eyes. 

Zero felt no satisfaction from the sight. He hadn't done this to be petty, nor did he do it for the pleasure of seeing the pureblood in pain. 

He simply told the truth. 

Because as much as Zero wanted to be a better person, to be the so-called unfailingly kind soul that Yuuki had claimed he was, he was only human at the end of the day. He wasn't some romanticized white knight that she seemed to think he was, and he had never pretended to be anything more than himself. 

He just couldn't forgive Kaname so easily. 

To tell him otherwise would be a lie. The lie wouldn't help Kaname, and it would be an insult to the both of them. 

"You planted this seed of hatred within me and taught me just how cruel the world could be. Now that this seed has taken root in my heart and flowered, you want me to rip it out?" 

Just how much more of himself was Zero expected to give up in order to satisfy Kaname's desires? Would the pureblood finally stop if Zero ripped his own heart out and offered it up to his once savior and tormentor? Was that what Kaname wanted -- Zero's life? 

He turned away from Kaname's tortured eyes. 

\--

"There is a saying, Kuran, that to live a fulfilling life one must be able to forgive and forget." 

He tried to ignore the poorly masked look of hope that was directed his way. Perhaps he had chosen his words too hastily. 

"And for the two of us, that kind of closure isn't possible. So now, I offer you the only compromise I can think of." 

Zero glanced up at the pureblood, staring into the beautiful facade that hid the monster of his nightmares. 

"I can't forgive you...but like you, I too want to move on. Let's forget all this, then, and continue on with our lives. Instead of bitter enemies and former rivals, we'll be nothing more than mere strangers and occasional acquaintances." 

For a few harsh moments, there was nothing but silence.

Kaname's face twisted into an expression of utter devastation. 

"I cannot," the pureblood shuddered, his eyes pleading with Zero in misery. "Just as you cannot forgive me, I cannot forget you." 

They stared quietly at each other, the fallen king and the disgraced knight locked in their stalemate. 

\-- 

Eventually, the princess descended from her castle to grace his home. He spared her one brief glance, taking note of the rigid way she held herself before he opened the door wider to allow her in. 

"It's good to see you," she said awkwardly as they surveyed each other quietly across the table. "How are you doing, Zero?" 

"Why are you here, Kuran-hime?" 

At his address, Yuuki faltered, her wide eyes stricken. 

When she stared at him with _that_ expression, she looked just like her brother. For a moment, he could see an echo of Kaname's distressed face overlapping with Yuuki's. When he blinked again, the mirage was dispelled. 

Yuuki's fingers tightened their grip on her mug as she ducked her head. "I...heard that nii-sama's been...trying to talk to you." 

Trying? 

More like Kaname had already done so, forcing Zero to listen to his requests, whether he liked it or not. Zero had been given no choice on the matter, and even now Kaname was still trying to break them out of the stalemate they were caught in. 

Zero hummed, but he gave no other response. 

"Zero, please," she hesitated at the lack of warmth in his eyes. When she looked up at him again, there was a determined set to her features. "Can you forgive nii-sama for everything?" 

"I can't." 

At her crestfallen look, Zero wondered privately to himself just what Yuuki had expected. Did she think that just because it was she who asked him to forgive Kaname that he would be able to do so? Maybe it was true that once upon a time he had been her knight, but his role in her story was over now. 

They were now nothing more than a handful of fond memories and a bittersweet reminder of better days. 

"Please, Zero. For all of our sakes, can't you forgive him?" 

He sighed. 

"Kuran-hime, I think you have the wrong idea here. Kuran doesn't want my forgiveness because he regrets his actions. He only wants my forgiveness to assuage his own feelings of guilt." 

It was clear as day that Kaname did not feel remorse for what he did. He only felt burdened by the knowledge that he was not a good man, and it seemed like the strain of that realization had finally broken him. Just as Zero once sought validation for his existence from the two siblings, Kaname now wanted confirmation that he could still be loved and forgiven despite his monstrous nature. 

"I already told him that I was willing to put the past behind us and forget him. It's Kuran who refuses to let either of us move on." 

"But--"

"I'm sorry, Kuran-hime, but I am my own person too. Even the lowest of beasts have their own sense of pride. I won't allow myself to be a slave to the whimsy of purebloods again." 

Silence reigned.

"That's not fair." Yuuki's hands were shaking. "Zero's not being fair."

He didn't say anything, because she was right. 

"Slave to our whimsy? Zero's the one who condemned me for being something that I never had any control over. Aren't you just the same as nii-sama, holding me to your own unfair expectations?"

"Yes," he answered without hesitation. 

"I'm not a good person. 

"I hurt you, Yuuki.

"And I won't ask for your forgiveness, because I don't deserve it.

"Even now, I still can't let go of this resentful feeling. 

"We're miserable for each other. That's why we should have ended this charade long ago."

Yuuki stared at him, her expression unreadable. But the slight tremor of her body betrayed her. "Are you saying you want to forget it all? To deny nii-sama the closure he needs and pretend that there was never anything between us?"

He didn't respond.

"That's selfish of you." 

Did she want him to say that wasn't true? 

Why was there an expectation for him to be selfless and perfect? He had never pretended to be anything like that -- if anything, it was Kaname who always wore a mask of sophisticated perfection. It was not his fault that she had chosen to look at him through that rosy colored light. 

"I am. And he is, and you are as well." 

Had there been any doubt from the very beginning that this whole charade was driven by nothing but the selfish desires of three opposing forces? Zero was not blind enough to his own faults to think that there was any kind of altruistic intent behind the odd tug-of-war he was stuck in. 

The princess who wanted everything but could not hold onto anything.

The king who destroyed lives and trampled hearts for the sake of fulfilling his own wishes. 

And the disgraced knight who, in his desperation to _live,_ imposed his own selfish desires onto others and forced them to bear the burden of keeping him alive. 

They lived in a mockery of a fairytale, and now that they reached the end of the story, they were all paying for it. 

That was why, for all their sakes, Zero had to end it now. If he allowed the siblings to bring him back into their orbit, they all would be miserable for the rest of their lives. 

"I'm sorry, but this is goodbye."

The words tasted like bitter resolution. But his mind was made up.

"Please don't come here again, Kuran-hime. And tell your brother that this is the last time I'll meet with either of you."

**Author's Note:**

> I like to call this "Bitterness the Fic". I was going to make it a KZ/ZK fic, but at some point it just no longer felt right and I left it as more of a very lightly implied one-sided pining. (You could argue that Kaname probably doesn't really crave Zero's affection, he's merely obsessed to a point where he can no longer distinguish how he feels about Zero.)


End file.
